I was talking to another mom today and of course we got to the topic of our kids. It does not come up often anymore that my kids are adopted (twins) but today it did. At some point in the conversation the woman looked at me and said “You took them both?”
It never occurred to me otherwise. I guess I don’t often realize how hard the journey was when we first brought the kids home. They were born at 27 weeks and weighed a little over a pound each. They both had heart surgery at 5 weeks and both had BPD and ROP, one much more severe than the other. They both came home on oxygen with monitors. My son was in the NICU about a month longer than my daughter.
Our adoption process was quick. One of the quickest I had ever heard of. We started the process in October, the kids were born in October. The adoption was finalized at the end of January, a mere three months later.
I spent six weeks in a hotel in another state. My daughter was discharged a week after we got there and my son remained in the hospital for another month. Every day I took my daughter to the NICU and I took care of both of them during the day. Then at night I took care of her. I could not wait to get home with them. I was so happy all the time.
I would stroller her around the hospital stopping people constantly asking them “isn’t she the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?” Everyone agreed. And my heart would ache at night when I had to leave my son there. I enjoyed being with them all the time.
Coming home was a challenge. We could not fly commercially because of the oxygen tanks and the fact that we could not get a direct flight. The doctors did not want them in the car seats for as long as it would have taken to drive (probably about 10 days with all the stops we would have had to make). Angel flights came to our rescue and got us home, for which we were really grateful.
Maybe it was because I had never had one kid so I don’t really know how it would have been easier. I can’t imagine my life any other way than the way it is. I also could not see at the time that they were all that sick. I was so certain they would be fine that I never questioned it. And it never occurred to me that the kids would be split up. I have always thought it a gift that they have the same biological and adoptive family. We have always talked openly about being adopted and we saved everything from their birth mother for them. We take it out every year when we celebrate adoption day so that they can look at it.
Our kids are comfortable with the fact that they are adopted. I overheard someone giving my daughter a hard time about being adopted and they said to her that she did not grow in my belly – like it was an insult. She looked at him and said no, she did not grow in my belly but rather she grew in my soul. Best answer ever. And indeed they did.